RachelAmy!

 I dunno what the word is for what I'm feeling. It's a mixture between confusion and frustration and anger. I'm...

Just restored that from a saved draft, god knows what it's about haha. I only ever seem to update my LiveJournal when I'm either feeling dead happy or really sad. At the moment I'm really happy.
I'm not sure why, I've realised a lot in the past like...20 minutes. I'm not gonna say what but I feel so much better about it all. 

Today was brilliant, just dead fun. I enjoyed it a lot. Even the lessons at college didn't bore me, which makes a change. 
I also read god knows how many university prospectuses in the library today. And if I don't stay in Hull I'm gonna go to Scotland, I don't care what anyone says about it to be fair. I just need to pull my socks up and work like I did today and it'll be fine from then on.
Gonna work dead hard for this last month at college and enjoy my Summer like I enjoyed last Summer. 

 Listening to certain songs just really inspire me to write again. It's times like these. These lovely sunny afternoons, where it's too hot to sit in my bedroom, but too windy to sit outside. So I just sit at my kitchen table, with the windows slightly open and the sun coming in. It's times like these where I get the biggest urge just to write a long essay about everything in my head, to clear it so to speak. Just type everything that's in my head at that time. Probably post it on some silly blog site. Editing out the bits I don't want the whole world to see. It's not like anyone cares really is it?

 I haven't updated in ages, I haven't even been doing much either.
Went to Hannah's for a really nice party on friday, that got crashed (well not crashed, but meh) by a load of chavs who used to go to our school and Hannah went sick at them. It was funny. We all got really drunk, except I didn't stay drunk for long because I drank mountains of water in fear of throwing up if I didn't.
So I drank loads of water and took loads of paracetamol and crashed on the pull out bed. I woke up with a mega hangover and a banging headache, but no vomit had passed my lips, yay.
Went home and slept from 12-9pm. Good times. I still felt shit on Sunday though, haha.

College was crap, as always. On the other hand, my doctor prescribed me some different tablets with no side effects (except if I eat anything with fat in, I'll get sick). Shitter than the other tablets, but better cos I won't be in a bad mood all the time.

 My pin code for my new card still hasn't come which pisses me off greatly.
On the up hand, I only had to go to college for Law today.

Oh, and this girl makes my life (L)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMdWqaN_Tms

Can't embed it but she she is amazing.

 God, today has been the same as college has been for the past 4 months. Not quite sure what I wanted to change, I don't think I wanted anything to change, but it's been boring as always.
I've thought a lot however.
Hull.
According to the BBC the second worse place to live in the UK (which seems pretty harsh).
We have John Prescott and the biggest council estate in the North East of the country.
But it's home, Hull is where I have lived all my life. And no matter how much I hate it half the time, I don't think I could bring myself to leave any time soon. It's where I have grown up and it is where I want to stay for the time being.

My house too. I go on about wanting to move house, to a bigger house in the countryside or in a little village just outside town. 
But it's not just where I live, it's my home. I was thinking today, and I don't think I could walk past it watching people spend Christmases' and birthdays in there without crying.
It's my house, and to see anyone else living in the house I've lived in for the past 15 years would upset me quite a bit. I mean, when I move out fair enough, cos I can still go there at Christmas and to visit, but to see a whole different family in there.

God, I'm being right emo tonight, haha.

 Words cannot describe how much I don't wanna go back to college tomorrow.

 Does anyone actually care how I feel, ever?! Because no one seems to at the moment. I just wanna let it all out, but I literally have no one to let it out to. It pisses me off loads because I wish I did.

I need to get really drunk. Tomorrow, instead of going to Four In Hand I think I'm gonna stay in with Frat and just get wrecked in my bedroom. 
Because to be fair, I need it.

I'm utterly pissed off, I don't know why.
Frustrated, pissed off, upset, emotional.

If it's "that time of the month" its been "that time of the month" for about 2 months now.
Fucking gay shite.

 So I'm still awake at stupid 'o clock again. I'm never tired anymore, but I've found that I can still get up at 7am if I stay awake till like 2am, yay.
I watched the Brit Awards with Hannah tonight, it's the first time I've watched it in ages, the live acts were top notch, but the winners sucked ass.

"DUFFY SHOULDN'T HAVE WON! SHES WELSH!"
"England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland- Britain Hannah."
Hah.

£1 easter eggs in Jacksons too, nice.
I have an appointment at bank tomorrow at dinner time, getting an account with Lloyds TSB cause I can't be bothered with a half hour bus ride to Brandsholme Center every time I wanna put some money or a cheque in bank.

 I have bloods again today, I really can't be arsed. I've had more blood tests than a druggy has hit up. :|
They must still have my blood somewhere, so they can test it again.
Meh, its too early.

These tablets I'm on are amazing. I never wanna eat unless it's meals, no snacking or anything. Ich Leibe Es.
I told my mum I'd do the ironing today, but thats okay cos shes giving me £40 :)

 N SYNC FTW.
I've spent literally since 10 tidying my room, and its bloody tidy now! Theres hardly anything out of place at all!
I was gonna take a picture but I can't be arsed.

It's not half past 4. I'm still in my PJ's and I'm tired. Good times.
Gonna go have a bath soon.
 

I got a really good nights sleep last night, even though I woke up too early. It's still been a nice lie in.
I just remembered, that I've got a blood test tomorrow.
Seriously, I've had more blood tests than the years I've been born-no exaggerations.

Ahh well, another one to add to the many. ;)

I get £40 for cleaning the bathroom.
I really fancy going somewhere nice next weekend, London maybe. Depends how cheap I can get train tickets I guess. Or Megabus, but they just take the piss.

 I went to the doctors this morning, he put me on these tablets and the side effects are erectile disfunctions and abnormal orgasms, lolol.
I had lulz.

I have a big obsession with The Lonely Island at the moment, I blame Malky.

That woman still hasn't paid for that phone, I'm pissed off loadz.
Driving lesson soon, lolz.

 i have the oddest urge ever to start making vlogs.

 so it's nearly 1am, and i've decided on not sleeping till late again.
i cant get into this habit or my sleeping pattern will be screwed.
im listening to the ting tings with my skullcandys waiting for something good to happen i think.
im not too sure what i think will come out of my late nights.

on the other hand, ES in leeds is a go!
im getting my train tickets/gig tickets asap. the sooner i book train tickets the less they'll be.
tenner return it is at the moment, which is ace!

i love how the jagermeister bottle managed to sneak into this.
these are my nights now, sat at my laptop wrapped in my dressing gown listening to music.
i have the best life ever.

I bet you didn't know that 73% of people buy flowers on Valentines day did you?
Those 73% are all men, wow.

To cut it short, I hate Valentines day.
If you love someone why spend just one day of the year showing it? Surely you should spend all 365 days showing your other half you love them?

I dunno personally. Whats the point in Valentines day? Thats what I'd like to know. It's all a big money making tosh scheme IMO.
I want a day to show my laptop how much I love it, but you don't see that happening. LaptopLove day. Or maybe I can just use Valentines day to show my laptop how much I love it. Cos frankly, my laptop is the cause of my social life.
It a worse scenario than a load of Highland Cow's speeding down a hill at 100mph heading for a brick wall, with nails sticking out.

Yes, Valentines day is shit.
End of.

I feel like a stupid, naive twat.
Seriously, could I feel any more shit? I hate these mood swings. And I hate this too.

/emo.

 so i hold my hands up.
im ready, im ready for the fall.

beautiful.
shes had her way now, im ready for the fall.
beautiful.
shes had her way now, im ready for the fall.

we have finally got proper proper snow.
im going out in it with hannah soon, yayyy!
snowday folder ftw.

i really like WATO.

 so, blink are back, its a tad overrated.

it's not funny when my hormones are up and down everywhere.
either i'm really happy or really moody.

I'm happy tonight, I shouldn't even be to be honest. But just to know makes me smile well bad.

I love everyone on the forum and I'm so glad I'm friends with Kelly again.
I've laughed loads tonight.

Eeeee!

im not gonna patronise ya.
but tryna write down why i like ya.
it doesnt make it any better.
to just steal kind words off phil spector.
and i know all these tired cliches.
but i don't know which cliche to say.
cos cliches dont have any impact.
so i guess i will be matter of fact.